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Tuesday night's (March 9) episode of "American Idol" did a great deal to help kill the opinion that the ninth season of the show has been the worst of its run. For the first time in this cycle, there were more great performances than not-so-great ones, lead by Crystal Bowersox's throaty, soulful, rugged take on Tracy Chapman's "Give Me One Reason" and Didi Benami's shuffling, groovy twist on Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon." Even the less-than-stellar showings from Lacey Brown, Lilly Scott and Katelyn Epperly showed promise.

Though it appears as though the competition is Bowersox's to lose, the contestant who could be the one to upend her is Siobhan Magnus, who took her quirky sensibilities and applied them to a sparse, powerful version of "The House of the Rising Sun," made famous by the Animals. The classic folk rock song took on a psychedelic twist when Animals frontman Eric Burdon took it on, and Magnus' version pushed it even further. The a cappella section was stunning and powerful, and when the accompaniment finally kicked in, there was a passion in Magnus' voice that we hadn't heard yet (possibly because she was dedicating the tune to her father, who is also a singer).

The Animals' version of "The House of the Rising Sun" is best known for the haunting guitar line, Burdon's guttural bellow and the twisting organ lines laid down by Alan Price. (That organ absolutely transforms the song from simply great to absolutely indispensable.) While "American Idol" has a tendency to resurrect songs that nobody ever wants to hear again, Magnus' revival of "The House of the Rising Sun" gets the MTV Newsroom Blog seal of approval.

Tuesday night's (March 9) "American Idol" began with an intense roll call that had each girl peeling off one by one as Ryan Seacrest announced her name. Is this "American Idol" or a video catalog for mail-order brides?

"Idol" wasted no time to get to the eight performances so why should I? Let's go!

Katie Stevens
Song: "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson
Verdict: Walk Away
Katie took the judges' advice and picked a song that young people listen to. Unfortunately, she didn't sing it well. Flat and behind the beat — like "From Justin to Kelly," it just didn't work. Katie's another one who would have been better off waiting until she was 21 before trying out for "Idol." But even after the judges slammed her for lacking life experience to pull off the soaring ballad, Stevens attempted to argue her way into the Top 12. "But the song mentions coming from a small town, and I do come from a small town!" Um, Katie, this is "American Idol," not "American Lawyer." Please accept that you sucked ... (wait for it) ... (wait for it) ... the life out of the room. (Long well-placed pause courtesy of Simon Cowell.)

Siobhan Magnus
Song: "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals
Verdict: Rising Star
Siobhan continued to bring the funky with a partially a cappella, entirely awesome "House of the Rising Sun." (She also took some makeup tips from Adrian from "The Secret Life of an American Teenager." That lip gloss is both fresh and poppin'!) The judges all gushed over Siobhan's risk — except for Simon, who didn't think she did anything different with the song. Say huh?! She replaced Eric Burdon's voice-cracking wail with a yearning croon, and played around with the melody to show off her range. Oh yeah, and she rocked the beginning completely a cappella!

But the biggest surprise was that Siobhan dedicated the song to her Brian Johnson-lookalike father Papa Magnus, of whom she said had one of the best voices she's ever heard. Whoa, why is this quirky girl tugging on my heartstrings right now? Her role on the show is to wow me with her off-kilter song choices and ridiculous high notes. She's not supposed to make me "awwww."

Lacey Brown
Song: "The Story" by Brandi Carlisle
Verdict: Bedtime Story
If Lacey's "Story" was a story, it'd be something along the lines of "Moby Dick." Technically, it was a strong offering (a first for Lacey on these live shows! Golf clap!), but it's not exactly a story I'd want to pick up over and over again. Furthermore, if flirting with the camera was a job requirement for "American Idol," Brown would win hands down. Unfortunately, it's a singing competition, and her squeaky voice still hasn't found its perfect outlet. Last week I was all about Lacey trying Yael Naim's "Toxic" cover, but "The Story" has changed my tune. Lacey Brown, if you're reading this, check out Beach House's "Used To Be" (the original seven inch mix, not the album version from Teen Dream — both are on iTunes, girl). Tap into your inner Victoria Legrand and soar on the "Idol" stage! You can do it!

Katelyn Epperly
Song: "I Feel the Earth" by Carole King
Verdict: Crapestry
Last week, Katelyn emerged as a dark horse in the competition with a stunning, sleepy "The Scientist." Something heavy must have gone down behind the scenes, because this week Epperly couldn't have looked less interested in performing. It was like she gave up after finding out Simon went on "The Tonight Show" to pimp Crystal Bowersox. "My divorced parents are no match for Crystal almost dying from diabetes. She's like Wilford Brimley. I'm just like 51 percent of the population." Her reason for acting like an emotionless robot? Katelyn was trying to be less corny after Simon complained about her over-emotive Coldplay cover. Watching it back a second time, you can totally see Katelyn consciously trying to avoid making any dramatic expressions whatsoever. Unfortunately, the limp Wurlitzer playing combined with the Lite-FM Carole King staple made her whole performance more cheesy, not less. Katelyn Epperbot, what have you done with the interesting, passionate singer I was falling in love with? Bring the old Katelyn back at once (provided she avoids elimination) and let her sing a Radiohead song! She tweeted about the band a few days ago. "Fake Plastic Trees" awaits!

Didi Benami
Song: "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac
Verdict: Rhiannot Too Shabby
Didi picked the right week to grab a guitar and attempt an untouchable Fleetwood Mac song. (Ahem, Taylor Swift.) The teary singer gave the Stevie Nicks classic a neat Tropicalia twist and nailed the vocals. I'd say she's never been better, but she's also never been that good. So let me add a little drama and emphasis to my review by saying few "Idol" singers this season have been better. To echo Simon Cowell, "She did have a wow moment — the wow moment was the whole performance." Although admit it: You totally laughed when the girl who meows for vocal warm-ups sang the lyric about the black cat. She should totally do Janet Jackson’s "Black Cat" next week. But save "Stray Cat Strut" for the finale, ya heard?

Paige Miles
Song: "Smile" written by Charlie Chaplin
Verdict: Frown. Tears. Suicide.
Forget Katelyn. What the hell happened to this girl? Why did Paige decide to sing Charlie Chaplin's song like a deaf person? (Not tone deaf, mind you. Just deaf deaf.) Paige used to be the bubbly girl who liked coloring books and singing rock songs. Now she's the token plus-size girl of "America's Next Top Model" who, about five weeks in, loses all hope after the show fails to provide her with an adequate wardrobe at a photo shoot. When the director cut to the judges' panel, I half expected Tyra, Nigel and Miss J to be there instead, asking, "Where did your spark go, sweetie?"

Crystal Bowersox
Song: "Give Me One Reason" by Tracy Chapman
Verdict: A Thousand Reasons Why I Love This Woman
Crystal Bowersox not only owned the "Idol" stage Tuesday night, she gave the down payment, signed the contract, settled the closing costs, walked off with the keys and then renovated the dang "Idol" stage Tuesday night. Crystal's "Give Me One Reason" had the swagger and professionalism of a rock veteran three times her age. I love that she's able to show us more vocal tricks with each passing week, too. At one point I said aloud, "Hi, Crystal's awesomely nasty throat growl! My name's Jim. It's a pleasure to meet you." I also dug how effortless her electric guitar riffing was, all the while admiring the giant ring she clearly stole from Lady Miss Kier from Deee-Lite's World Clique album cover. Bonus points for Crystal popping a squat on her amp during the judge's critiques. What a rock star! Based on Crystal's "Idol" trajectory thus far, Simon is a "million billion percent" correct: It's her season to lose. (Side note: Anyone else spot Katelyn Epperly looking miserable during Bowersox's show-stopper? Yo Kate, let's see some sportsmanship, mmkay?)

Lilly Scott
Song: "I Fall to Pieces" by Patsy Cline
Verdict: She Fell Alright
Lilly took her first misstep of the competition with a tortured, forced and damn near unwatchable Patsy Cline cover. Okay, to be honest, I didn't notice her vocals that much. I was too busy deciding whether her goofy earrings looked more like potholders or kitten mittens. Her judging segment got chopped considerably for time, so after Randy, Ellen and Kara all gave her concise raves, Simon was left simply saying, "You're very brave choosing that song on a night like this." I'd go further and say she's lucky she went last, because if it weren't for her pimp spot, Lilly would be in serious trouble Thursday night. With the risk of sounding like Ellen DeGeneres, I still love her, though. You just had your first free pass, Lilly. Now it's time to bring the noise and the funk back to "Idol" come the Top 12! Save the indie rocker!

What did you think of the Top Eight Girls? Is Crystal Bowersox really the one to beat this season? Who blew their Top 12 chances? Would Siobhan's performance have been as epic if we didn't know she was singing the song for her dad? And do I dare dignify Ellen and Simon's fake make-out by writing about it? Hit me up in the comments below. And make sure you follow me on Twitter @jambajim for even more "Idol" insanity.

With the exception of Katelyn Epperly's quasi-funereal cover of Coldplay last week, this year's "American Idol" semi-finalists have shown predictably tame, somewhat bland taste in song choice. And while it's been the same cavalcade of Gavin DeGraw, Sam Cooke and much-feared covers of "The Climb," a handful of contestants have shown they have a jones for some more indie-leaning music.

Because singing the song the judges tell you to doesn't always work out, we've got some suggestions for the remaining singers based on their recent Tweets.

Resident quirky girl Siobhan Magnus revealed to fans on Sunday that she is "over the moon happy!" because "Hole is playing a reunion show next month! I could cry!" Well Maggie, since you're such a fan of Courtney Love's grunge-era histrionics, here's our suggestion for a song you could play on "Idol" that would kill it: "Awful." It's a great, rocking guitar pop tune about how the star machine tries to break wild young girls' spirit. What could be more perfect?

Over in Lilly Scott land, we learned that "Brian Jonestown Massacre always gets me in the mood for Idol haha." Wow. Really? Now that is interesting. Scott's choice of the long running San Francisco psych rock band led by the incredibly unpredictable Anton Newcombe shows she's got a dark, weird side that is yearning to emerge. With hundreds of songs to choose from (each more obscure than the next), we're going to go with the little ditty "Going to Hell." The tune about a spurned lover wishing his ex's fiery demise is a charmingly toe-tapping Beatles-esque ditty that appeared in the original "American Pie" movie and would surely throw Simon for a loop.

Not all the "Idol" semi-finalists were busy showing their musical geek quotient over the weekend. While Casey James was going to the beach on his Sunday off and Lee Dewyze was chillin' with Andrew Garcia, Epperly was showing a bit more music geek taste than we expected from the Lisa Loeb-ian singer/songwriter. "Radiohead gets me through the long days," she tweeted on Sunday.

That one's easy. If Epperly wants to secure a spot in the Top 12, she can’t go wrong if she picks "High and Dry" from The Bends. It's a nice, dynamic song and would allow her to show off her falsetto (assuming she has one). If she messes with the arrangement and plays it with a bit of an acoustic reggae vibe, the judges should eat it up.

As for what Tim Urban is obsessing about, well, let's say his tweeting abilities are about as sharp as his singing. "Today is absolutely beautiful here!" revved the cute but talent deficient cat-like singer who should be on his eighth musical life by now. "Hopefully I'll get to enjoy it!" Soak it up, Timmy, we suspect the end may be nigh. Might we suggest Fall Out Boy's "Thnks fr the Mmrs?"

What indie rock songs would you like to see "American Idol" contestants sing? Let us know in the comments!

The week is done, but that doesn't mean the work is. This Oscar weekend, be sure to stay tuned to MTV News, MTV Movies Blog and Hollywood Crush, all of which will be bringing you wall-to-wall coverage of the red carpet, the show, the after parties and everything in between. Meanwhile, keep thinking about who else needs to go home on "American Idol" and be sure to get your submissions in for our big 311 contest.

In between doing all that, check out everything you might have missed on the MTV Newsroom Blog this week, including stories about Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, "The Tonight Show," "Dancing With the Stars" and Ke$ha.

» The top headline of this week belonged to Crystal Bowersox, who was nearly disqualified from "American Idol" after having to go to the hospital. But then she staged one of the greatest musical comebacks of all time.

» The week opened with the end of the 2010 Winter Olympics, and we got an exclusive report from one of the dancers who performed during the closing ceremony. We miss you already, Olympics. See you in London in 2012.

» The new cast of "Dancing With the Stars" was announced this week, and though the producers didn't take any of our advice, they still managed to draft an interesting group of people. Of course, we're rooting for Buzz Aldrin.

» It was a big birthday week, as Ke$ha blew out some candles on a cake.

» Justin Bieber turned 16 years old on Monday, so we laid out the 16 reasons why we love him.

» And because Ke$ha and Bieber share a birthday, we decided to mash the two up.

» "The Tonight Show" came back this week, and as it turns out, Jay Leno is doing the exact same show he's always done.

» While Leno was hosting a show, rival Conan O'Brien was busy on Twitter, a project Pierce Brosnan totally endorses.

» This week saw the debut of "Popology," in which we'll be taking a look at a modern pop classic. We opened with Britney Spears' ...Baby One More Time.

» After hearing that Gavin DeGraw song again on "American Idol," we decided that it needs to lead the list of the show's "retired" tunes.

» Sarah Palin is supposedly shopping around a television show, and because we're extremely helpful, we pitched her five totally workable ideas.

» If anybody at MTV News got elected to the highest office in the country, we would totally invite Jay-Z and Beyoncé over too.

» Guru from Gang Starr is trying to build his health back up, so we took a look back at a classic interview with him and DJ Premier.

» Finally, you owe it to yourself to watch the "Frame by Frame" of OK Go's "This Too Shall Pass" video. The band's clip is great and the stories surrounding it are even greater.

I'm not one to brag, but did I nail it or what? You don't have to be a psychic to read the writing on the wall over at the "American Idol" terrordome, because season nine has been so full of dead wood that if the judges do revive the wild card, I really can't imagine who they would bring back.

That's why Thursday night's (March 4) elimination round was so easy to call. For me, anyway. I managed to go four-for-four, correctly predicting that smiling cowgirl Haeley Vaughn would vamoose, along with tone deaf Purple Haze frontman John Park, sanctified loony Jermaine Sellers and cute-but-bland young Whitney Houston lookalike Michelle Delamor.

I would have liked to see the judges use their executive power to make it an odd five and toss Tim Urban as well, but you can be sure the apple of Ellen’s eye will be gone next week, as the singers who can actually sing more than one solid note will fall into real contention.

How well did I do? Let's compare my score to that of MTV's own "Idol" aficionado Jim Cantiello, who went with antique refurbisher Lacey Brown and Delamor, as well as Park and a toss-up between Sellers and the equally off-putting Todrick Hall. That's a solid 50 percent rate for Jim, who was tied with MJ Santilli, webmaster of the "Idol" outpost MJ's Big Blog, who also picked Sellers and wished Urban would go but suspected he wouldn't just yet.

She also correctly picked Vaughn, but slipped up when suggesting that fellow teen Katie Stevens would get the ax after failing to find her groove or personality on stage. That's a 50 percent mark for MJ as well.

Come back next week to see how our panel of prognosticators does picking the last four semi-finalists on the chopping block, and to see whether or not I can continue to reign supreme.

What do you think? Who will be the last "American Idol" semi-finalists to get eliminated? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

On Wednesday (March 3), following the seemingly umpteenth performance of Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be" on "American Idol," the MTV Newsroom Blog declared a handful of songs officially retired.

However, a pair of contestants decided to immediately ignore that advice on Wednesday night's episode. Haeley Vaughn took a stab at Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" (which could get her sent home this week) while Lilly Scott brought Sam Cooke's "A Change is Gonna Come" back around again (it was a not entirely unreasonable performance, but nothing special either).

The "American Idol" contestants obviously don't listen to reasonable ideas, but that won't stop us from suggesting another five tunes that need to be buried deep within the "American Idol" song crypt.

"Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me"
Elton John songs turn up way too often on "American Idol," especially this nugget from 1974's Caribou. It hurts contestants two-fold, as it isn't dynamic enough to show off your chops, but John's voice is so distinct that it always ends up sounding somewhat wrong. It's a no-reward situation. (That being said, LaToya London's performance of "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" back in the third season was pretty stunning.)

"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"
Amazingly, this song has appeared five times in nine seasons, which is way too often. It's an awful, treacly ballad, and who really wants to sound like Steven Tyler anyway? If "Idol" contestants really want to bust out Aerosmith songs, they should use "Angel" or "What It Takes."

Anything by the Beatles
Here's the thing: Sometimes, Beatles songs sound totally okay when sung by the right singer-songwriter types. But even when things go well, most every Beatles song is iconic, and thus the chance for reinvention is slim. Again, there's a ton of risk and very little reward. Plus, the listening public is still haunted by Syesha Mercado's "Got to Get You Into My Life," which means that all Beatles tunes should be put to rest for a while. (This goes double for John Lennon's "Imagine.")

"How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?"
No. Just no.

"Feeling Good"
Consider this: Adam Lambert was nearly eliminated because of this song, so obviously it's either too difficult or cursed (probably a healthy combination of the two). Consider this as well: Did you really enjoy Katie Stevens' version from last week? Can't really remember it? Exactly. Let Nina Simone keep it, and you can stick to "I Can't Make You Love Me" (a beautiful song that is woefully underused on "Idol").

What do you think? What songs would you retire? What songs don't turn up enough? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Sometimes it's hard to figure out which semi-finalists deserve to go home on "American Idol." This week? Not so much. The grim parade of bad, sad and WTF? was Macy's Day long this week, led by repeat visits from a few contestants who must have lucky rabbit feet sewn into their tracheas or compromising pictures of Simon Cowell and his enormous (alleged) Hummel figurine collection.

Either way, there's no doubt who should go home this week. Note we said should, because America has gotten it wrong before.

Number one on the list is toothy cowgirl Haeley Vaughn. Yes, she is cute as a button and so deliriously upbeat that she literally can't stop smiling, but let's face it: She's a terrible, terrible singer. Even with a swing at a song that should be a slam dunk for her (fellow teen Miley Cyrus' "The Climb") Vaughn was a train wreck. The performance was a shower of bum notes and her suddenly very noticeable lisp threatened to drown out half the lyrics. The judges called it on this one: Haeley needs to go back in the oven and cook for another year or two.

On the male side, John Park has had a good run, but he has proven once again that his voice is like a blunt instrument of musical torture. His cover of John Mayer's "Gravity" was limp, and telling us English is his second language doesn't really explain why he can't find a note that isn't flat or tortured. Sorry, Park Rangers, but it's time for Mountie John to get back to Purple Haze.

Sometimes a contestant appears to have the goods but just can't figure out how to play the game. Case in point: Jermaine Sellers. The sanctified soul man has great pipes (and apparently a hotline to his savior), but he just doesn't get how this works. He has shot himself in the foot so many times his jazz shoes must look like Crocs at this point. He's a on race to the bottom with Todrick Hall for least likable "Idol" semi-finalist, and I predict his takedown of Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On" will be the last we hear from him.

Michelle Delamor seems like a lovely young lady, but I suspect that she hasn't made any inroads with fans because of a rather bland personality and really odd song choices. An R&B diva cover of "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed? Really? I mean, props for thinking outside the box, but when the best thing judges can say is that your outfit was cute, it's time to start packing up your stuff.

What do you think? Who should be shown the door on "American Idol" this week? Leave your votes in the comments!

Much of the drama entering Wednesday (March 3) night's "American Idol" telecast centered on the status of Crystal Bowersox, the dreadlocked dynamo who was hospitalized Tuesday morning with complications from diabetes (or, as she calls it, "'Beetus") and was told by show producers that she needed to perform … or else.

It wasn't clear until minutes before the show went live whether Bowersox was going to be healthy enough to take the stage, but when she did, she more than delivered the goods, blowing through a soulful take of CCR's "As Long As I Can See The Light," wowing the judges and proving that, much like Willis Reed in Game Seven of the 1970 NBA Finals, she wouldn't let an injury (or an illness) slow her down.

In the process, Bowersox's heroics placed her in the pantheon of other modern-day musical Lazaruses, artists who cast aside the crutches (metaphoric or otherwise) and rose to the occasion when it mattered most. Here, for your reading pleasure, are just some of those prime-time players. We salute you.

Justin Bieber
Don't let his diminutive size fool you: Deep inside Bieber beats the heart of a true champion, as evidenced by his heroics late last year when, during a performance at London's Wembley Theatre, he rolled his ankle and fractured his foot. Not only did he finish the song, he TwitPic'd a photo of his right foot in a cast, and Tweeted that Taylor Swift came to visit him in the emergency room, "because she is awesome."

Drake
The Canadian Cannon initially injured his knee while playing hoops before the 2009 BET Awards (you can take the boy out of Jimmy Brooks, but you can never take the Jimmy Brooks out of the boy,) but decided to perform on the show anyway (albeit seated on a stool). He continued to press on, joining Lil Wayne's America's Most Wanted tour, where he took a tumble onstage and torn his ACL and MCL. He's since gone under the knife, and the scars are a testament to his glory.

Snoop Dogg
While not technically injured, Snoop performed "Murder Was The Case" at the 1994 MTV Video Music Awards while sitting in a wheelchair (it was a pretty powerful considering he was on trial for murder at the time). Backed by a full gospel choir — and a casket — Snoop rose from his chair and delivered an incendiary set, famously proclaiming "I'm innocent" at the end of the song. It was such an amazing performance that the fact that he rediscovered the use of his legs was merely an afterthought.

Kurt Cobain
Wheeled onstage by journalist Everett True (in a nod to rumors of his deteriorating mental health) at the 1992 Reading Festival, Cobain — who was also wearing a long Edgar Winter wig — stood up from his chair, sang a few lines, then collapsed, only to rise again and launch into a now legendary set. A new standard in overcoming adversity, imagined or otherwise.

Rick Allen
He lost his left arm in an automobile accident and continues to play drums for Def Leppard to this day. A true hero. Recipient of the 2010 Lazarus Lifetime Achievement award, which I just made up right now.

Where does Crystal Bowersox's comeback rank among the best "Idol" moments of all time? Let us know in the comments!

Wednesday night's (March 3) episode of "American Idol" was, without a doubt, the best episode of the season so far. That's not to say it was perfect (Haeley Vaughn's version of Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" saw to that), but there were a number of instantly memorable (and occasionally jaw-dropping) highlights. In addition to Crystal Bowersox's triumphant return from illness, there was Siobhan Magnus' rousing, left-field run through of Aretha Franklin's "Think," Lacey Brown's interesting take on Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me" and Lilly Scott's not-unreasonable take on the Sam Cook classic "A Change Is Gonna Come" (even though she still should have left it in the "retired" pile). Heck, even though Michelle Delamor's attack on Creed's "With Arms Wide Open" (which she re-imagined as a sort of shuffling R&B jam) was most certainly a failure, it was nice to see her take a risk and push the envelope.

The most memorable performance of Wednesday night's show undoubtedly came from Katelyn Epperly, who took Coldplay's "The Scientist" (from their massive 2002 album A Rush of Blood to the Head) and slowed it down to a crawl that focused on the song's deep-seeded pathos. By focusing on the lyrics (and thus on her voice), she revealed something about "The Scientist" that may not have been entirely evident before (namely that it's an incredibly devastating tune about being lost). She made the chorus cry, especially the line "Nobody said it was easy." The judges may have been lukewarm, but "The Scientist" absolutely ruled.

Of course, the original has one of the best music videos ever made working for it. In this clip (which won three MTV Video Music Awards), the entire narrative is told backwards. It's a stunning and technical accomplishment. While the song now belongs to Epperly, Chris Martin still has the video in his pocket.

Call of the search party! Blow out the candles! Crystal Bowersox (aka The Savior of Season Nine aka The Best Idol Contestant Who Ever Graced The Stage aka The Reason God Created Harmonicas) is still on "American Idol!"

I don't intend for my hyperbole to make light of Crystal's serious hospitalization. But in hindsight, knowing that our girl is a tough cookie who's here to stay, our collective overreaction is kind of hilarious, don't you think?

But how did Crystal Bowersox do? Let's take a look at her — and her competitors' — performance. This ... is "American Idol" recap!

Crystal Bowersox
Song: "As Long as I Can See the Light" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Verdict: A Healthy Return to Her Throne
All the Idols were forced to share little nuggets about themselves. I can only imagine the dark secrets this reality show newbie revealed to producers before they told her they just want to hear about the trinkets she keeps in a coin purse. Also, Bowersox has a twin brother? Score! She claimed his name is Carl, but the Internet has already renamed him Brothersox. Welcome to "Idol" fandom, Bowersox family! Hope you like crazy people!

Going into Wednesday night's Top 10 Girls performance show, Crystal had achieved some kind of mythical status, like the singing unicorn that births Kelly Clarkson singles or a decent Tim Urban performance. (Hell, I was even preparing an article called, "Is Crystal Bowersox's Departure The Final Nail In Season Nine's Coffin?") On one hand, Crystal's performance was irrelevant. The mere fact that she showed up (and wasn't going to be disqualified) would have carried her through to next week. On the other, because we were all so worried we'd lose her, viewers had built Crystal up to be this genius artist we couldn't live without. How could she live up to those expectations?

Yet by taking CCR to a gospel church run by lesbians, Crystal blew those expectations out of the (Clear)water. Her vocals were so strong that you'd never know that just hours earlier she was probably eating Jell-O and watching "Maury" from a hospital bed. (On second thought, Crystal strikes me as more of a "Judge Judy" fan.)

The judges had Idolgasms when discussing Crystal's performance. Kara got the name of an Alanis Morissette song wrong, Randy spouted something about "truth" and "reality," and Simon first invoked Kelly Clarkson, then channeled George W. Bush: "I misunderestimated you last week." (Does that mean he underestimated Crystal in the wrong way? Or was he just having a Kara-esque brain fart?) Regardless, Crystal may have sung, "Mama's comin' home," but she’s not going anywhere. Thankfully.

Bonus points to her for her final interview with Seacrest, where she silenced critics who accuse the troubadour of acting too cool for school by saying she was less concerned about her health and more concerned about a disqualification. Oh, Bowersox. You rock my socks. And my heart.

Haeley Vaughn
Song: "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus
Verdict: Smiley Cyrus
Haeley Vaughn makes headbands with Elmer's glue. Obviously. She also told America, in so many words, that she's physically unable to frown, making her even creepier than that girl who hicupped for six years straight. Vaughn's 24/7 smile clearly isn't genetic, because her scowling grandma in the audience gave the judges chilling death stares while they bashed Haeley's embarrassing performance. By the time the judges were done with their group beating, Haeley Vaughn was no longer smiling. It's a miracle!

Lacey Brown
Song: "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer
Verdict: None the Wiser
Continuing the "Girls like crafting!" motif of the night, Lacey's big secret is that she likes to refurbish antique furniture. I'm starting to suspect that these girls are just on "Idol" to further their Etsy profits. Lacey suffers from Megan Joy syndrome. She has an equally offbeat voice with a really cool tone, but it's not suited for an average "Idol" band backup. In order to survive, Lacey needs to bring some Björk, St. Vincent or Lykke Li eccentricities to her arrangements ASAP. (Lacey, if you're reading this, track down Yael Naim's "Toxic" cover and copy it note for note. You're welcome.) While the redhead's "Kiss Me" was miles better than last week's "Landslide," her voice still stuck out like Big Mike at a Little People Convention. Maybe Lilly Scott will lend Lacey some of her weird instruments for next week's show, although frankly, Brown's farewell is all but certain Thursday night.

Katie Stevens
Song: "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Rae
Verdict: The Curious Case of Benjamina Button
In her interviews, Katie appears to be your average overachieving teenager. (That's not a knock. I was good friends with several of those in high school.) In her package, she showed us she can say "give me a kiss" in six languages and then blushed when she realized America would incorrectly assume she was a loose woman. Cute. But as soon as Katie begins singing, she instantly ages 40 years. As Ellen pointed out, Stevens shouldn't be choosing dentist office staples. But at this rate, I'm pretty sure Katie would make a Ke$ha song sound ancient.

Didi Benami
Song: "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers
Verdict: Cat on a Hot Mess Roof
Didi was a mascot-turned cheerleader who preps each performance by praying and meowing. Okay! Benami's "Lean On Me" started off really promising with a stripped-down arrangement and a new twist on the melody that worked well for Didi's voice. But once the bridge kicked in, the song had transitioned back into the original "Lean On Me" and Didi howled and yowled like a cat in a vet's office. (Incidentally, I spied a Fancy Feast commercial during the "Idol" telecast tonight. Coincidence?) Thank heavens we had Big Mike's doofy dance moves to distract us from how wonky Didi's vocals had become. That being said, the judges seemed especially harsh on Benami, and I'm not just saying that because Simon made the poor girl cry. Look on the bright side, Didi. You got a Seacrest hug! Now you have the ability to read ad copy effortlessly and your teeth are four shades whiter.

Michelle Delamor
Song: "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed (I know.)
Verdict: More Off-Putting Than a Scott Stapp Solo Album
Michelle is another singer who prays backstage. (God is really busy Tuesday and Wednesday nights this year, isn't She?) The good news: Michelle took a risk by turning a Creed song into an R&B ballad. The bad news: Michelle took a risk by turning a Creed song into an R&B ballad.

Lilly Scott
Song: "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke
Verdict: Changing the Game
On paper, a white girl from Colorado who wears dream catchers for earrings should not be singing Sam Cooke's masterpiece. Yet somehow, the quirky multi-instrumentalist made the civil rights anthem work brilliantly using offbeat indie rock sensibilities. Even more shocking? Her unique spin was warmly embraced by the judges (minus Simon, who gave her a less enthusiastic "good"), and she appears to be liked by viewers who voted for last week's equally oddball "Fixing a Hole." Adam Lambert gave me chills when he mastered this song in last May's finale, but Lilly's take was different enough that I forgot all about Adam. No small feat considering I have "I miss season eight" tattooed on my heart. I can't wait to see what Lilly tries next. (Use the Moog, girl!)

Katelyn Epperly
Song: "The Scientist" by Coldplay
Verdict: She Blinded Me With Science
In her pre-performance interview Katelyn Epperly, who's a recording engineer in training, told Seacrest not to expect anything "super epic or anything" from her this time, and then she delivered just that. Way to sell yourself short, Katelyn! Between last week's "Oh! Darling" and this week's stunning Coldplay cover, Katelyn is emerging as a contender for the "Idol" crown. She's got the looks (drool), the style (swoon) and, most importantly, the vocal chops. Half the judges slammed Katelyn for slowing down Chris Martin's ballad to a snail's pace, but I'm going to slam them for overlooking one of the best performances of the night. I'm glad Simon suggested Katelyn ditch the over-expressive puppy dog faces when she sings. All the emotional honesty you need is already there in that beautiful voice. And to think I was upset this girl made it to the Top 24? For shame, Jim!

Paige Miles
Song: “Walk Away” by Kelly Clarkson
Verdict: Who Are You?
I'm so bummed we didn't meet Paige Miles before the semi-final shows. She seems like a fun little thing, what with her dry mouth and her coloring books and her left-field song choices. But jumping into her "Idol" journey at this point feels like trying to get into "Lost" by starting with the third season. If I knew the story and the characters' nuances, I might have enjoyed her Kelly Clarkson re-do (co-written by Kara, who was bummed Paige wasn't "angry" enough). Instead, I was left wondering, "How has Jack ended up in this Hydra thing? And how long have the Others been living on this island?"

Siobhan Magnus
Song: "Think" by Aretha Franklin
Verdict: Reckless Abandon
In a season of quirky girls, Siobhan Magnus is probably the quirkiest. She blows glass (code word: she makes bongs), she used to have a Mohawk even though she looks like she could be Anna Paquin's preppy younger sister and she can belt a high note Mariah Carey hasn't been able to hit in twenty years. In fact, her glory note saved her fearless Aretha Franklin cover from being a complete joke. I love that Siobhan's on the show. She's the wild card that will keep the contestants on their toes. Can you just hear the chatter backstage? ("Oh crap. I hear Siobhan's doing an excerpt from a Chinese opera next week. I better rethink this Stevie Wonder song.")

What did you think of the girls? Is season nine finally beginning to show some promise? Do you think Kara's snuggling up to Simon to ensure an invite to "X-Factor?" Are you starting to get creeped out by how often Ryan Seacrest brings up Justin Bieber? And as if you couldn't love Crystal anymore, how awesome was her peace sign during her 866-IDOLS-01 phone number pandering? ("Whoops! This is peace! This is one!")

Let me know in the comments below, and if you’ve made it this far, you know you want to follow me on Twitter @jambajim for all my links, thoughts and random "Idol" musings.

The only thing Alex and Adam Lambert have in common is a last name, the fact that they both have first names that start with A and the fact that they have both appeared on "American Idol." Adam was last season's early frontrunner and Alex is an underdog this time around. And while both characters have unique hair, no one has ever given Adam a hard time for having a mullet the way they've done with Alex.

At first glance (or at any glance, really), it looks as though there couldn't be more space between these two "Idol" stars. Adam is a over-the-top, glammy Los Angeles native, whereas Alex is a more straight-laced looking Texan. So considering they have the same initials and even the same name, we wanted to know what it would look like if Alex got Glambertized and became Adam.

The results are certainly ... interesting. We're going to go with "mildly disturbing." In fact, it leaves us somewhat speechless. Maybe you can find the words? If you can, share some with us in the comments.

Our Lambert makeover (powered by digital producer Sohyung Kang) reminded us of the time we remade one of our own (MTV News production assistant Joel Hanek) into Adam Lambert. The results were just as mind-boggling, but definitely more convincing (especially considering MTV News' Tim Kash managed to convince people that Hanek actually was Adam Lambert). Don't remember that incredible sequence of events? Relive the magic here!

What do you think? Should Alex Lambert get a glammy makeover or should he stick with his mullet? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Tuesday night's (March 2) episode of "American Idol" provided a handful of highlights, including the great video package promoting Alex Lambert and the suddenly improving Tim Urban. The show also featured a segment that felt a lot like deja vu: A contestant (in this case guitar picking Casey James) wailing his way through Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be."

Here's the thing: There's nothing particularly wrong about DeGraw's breakout 2004 single. It's a not unreasonable song with a too-catchy chorus and just the right amount of anthemic crunch. But as an "American Idol" song, it has to go. As James even admitted last night, "I Don't Want to Be" has shown up on "Idol" an inordinate number of times over nine seasons, spilling from the throats of the likes of Bo Bice, Elliott Yamin and Michael Sarver (all of whom, by the way, topped James by leaps and bounds). It too often gives singers a license to shout, and the melody is not dynamic enough to really show off males voices (especially rock voices).

So let's all agree to give DeGraw his tune back. With that in mind, here are five more tunes that seriously need to be locked away where no "Idol" contestant can ever touch them.

"Alone"
It's the best song Heart ever put out (yes, even better than "Barracuda") and is ruined by a shouty female rock singer just about every time it comes out (which has been four times over eight seasons). Consider this the girl version of "I Don't Want to Be."

Anything by Whitney Houston
"Idol" contestants have to allow that not even Whitney Houston can hit those Whitney Houston notes any more. So let's leave "I Have Nothing" and "Saving All My Love For You" at the door and keep the memories of Houston's greatness sacred. Note: This could also apply to all songs by Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin and Dusty Springfield. These women have some of the most distinct voices in music history, and no contestant will ever deliver a superior original.

"And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going"
Just because a former "American Idol" contestant performed this tune as part of a film performance that won her an Academy Award doesn't mean it can win you one as well.

Anything by Sam Cooke
Just as the ladies should stay away from Whitney, Mariah and Aretha, the dudes should let Sam Cooke rest in peace. His dynamic, soul-kissed voice is sweet and distinct and can't be replicated. So even though "A Change Is Gonna Come" is a remarkable song, it should be left only to Sam. Men of "Idol" should treat Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and Al Green with the same sort of reverence (this means you, Jermaine Sellers).

"The Climb"
OK, so it hasn't showed up on the show yet, but it was the most popular audition song during last summer's open calls. But it's only a matter of time, and though Miley Cyrus' original is hardly a definitive entry in the pop pantheon, let's just assume it shouldn't be trotted out.

What song would you place on the permanent "American Idol" banned list? Leave your ideas in the comments!

I’d like to open Tuesday night's (March 2) "American Idol" recap with a short excerpt of a screenplay I'm working on, which is loosely based on what I think might have happened backstage Tuesday. It's called "Bower Power."

INT. CBS Studios, backstage.

The Top 10 men are hanging out. A producer enters with purpose.

Producer: Crystal Bowersox is really sick. Doctors say she can't perform on "Idol" tonight. So you boys are going to sing in her place since we're willing to sacrifice all of you in order to save one of the season's breakout stars. Get into wardrobe, you pitiful excuses for "Idol" contestants. You're live in three hours.

Alex Lambert: [vomits, weeps, craps pants simultaneously.]

Tim Urban: It's okay, Alex. Just pray. That's what I do.

Jermaine Sellers: [puts down his vocal humidifier] Yeah! Jesus is my homeboy!

Cut to Heaven.

Jesus: [shakes head, sighs] I miss season eight.

Jesus presses play on his iPod, listens to Danny Gokey's new CD (in stores now)! He sings along to "It's Only" but changes the lyrics.

Jesus: [singing] It's only meeeeee.

FIN

Yes, poor Crystal Bowersox was ill Tuesday night and "Idol" said, "Call in the rodeo clowns." An odd move, considering Megan Joy, Bo Bice, Jason Castro and a host of season seven girls all had to sing through their various ailments. But then again, Crystal is under "doctor's orders" to sit out, so it must be serious. (Get better Bowersox! My life would suck without you on "Idol!") And you can't fault the producers for trying to save one of the four contestants who don't make viewers want to bash their televisions to smithereens.

Before I go on a rant about how conflicted I was about Ellen DeGeneres' "American Gladiator" jokes (I laughed but was angry that she took screen time for shtick), let's break down each performance!

Michael Lynche
Song: "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World" by James Brown
Verdict: Poppa's Got a Brand New Bag
We found out Big Mike was big into theater and football growing up. (How "Glee" of him!) Now he spends his time ignoring his newborn and doing arm curls with Aaron "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board, Still Not as Good as Archuleta" Kelly. Big Mike neglected to talk to us about his multiple personality disorder, however. The guy's obviously got one, since last week he was all "I'm a giant black guy who sings skinny white boy acoustijams" and this week he's all "Just kidding! I'm a sharp-dressing retro R&B singer!" I'm all for people shattering racial expectations, but this soulful crooner persona was a better look for him. It was miles better than anything we've seen the boys do this season, even if it didn't deserve Randy's standing ovation. (I say that like it matters. We all know America fast forwards through the other judges' comments to get to Simon, anyway.)

John Park
Song: "Gravity" by John Mayer
Verdict: Sunk Like a Stone
John Park learned Korean before he learned English. Neat! But when will he learn how to have charisma when he sings? (You'd think Purple Haze, his a cappella group, would have taught him some tricks. Aren't a cappella groups just an excuse for college dudes to be smarmy?) Park's low energy songs continue to go over like Zima at a frat house. The judges struggled to come up with words to describe their disappointment, except for Kara, who told John that he was obviously too concerned with being perfect in order to deliver a good performance. Nice, Kara. So you tell the Asian guy he's an overachiever just five minutes after you spoke to an African-American about being a baby daddy using your finest "urban" accent? I can't wait until you tell Siobhan Magnus she's belligerent and obsessed with potatoes.

Casey James
Song: "I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin DeGraw
Verdict: Shred of Decency
Casey James made two mistakes on "Idol." First, he picked one of the most performed songs in "Idol" history. (Remember Bo Bice? And Elliott Yamin? And Chris Richardson? And Michael Sarver?) Then, he told Seacrest he wanted to sing the song precisely because it had been chosen so many times. ("Over 99 billion people served? This McDonald's is gonna rule!") Casey's decision was bad, but his shaky goat-like vocals were more damning. The doofy teenager-in-his-room guitar shredding didn't help convince anyone that he's a rock star, either. (Well, except Randy, who boldly evoked the holy name of Jimi Hendrix when talking about Casey. Seriously.) You know you're in trouble when even Kara, who used Sharon Stone as hairspiration and thinks of you as her boy toy, calls your performance "two steps backwards." Now she's getting Paula Abdul lyrics wrong? I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Alex Lambert
Song: "Everybody Knows" by John Legend
Verdict: Mullet With Butterfly Wings
Lambert's segment is the closest we've come to having "a moment" on the "Idol" stage in season nine. But not just because of his vocals, which happened to be about six million times better. It was also due to some brilliant storytelling on the producers' part. They spun Lambert's stage fright as a sob story and gave the guy the chance to admit to America that he was so nervous last week that he puked! "I was trying to be so likeable," Lambert admitted of his uncomfortable live debut, "that I was not likeable at all." By the time Alex took to the stage to sing about "one more try" and "making it right," the song’s meaning had switched from "break-ups" to "'Idol' contestants desperate to get one more shot." At judging, Ellen continued her banana analogy (for you fruit fetishists out there) and Kara astutely pointed out that everyone was rooting for him. And just like that, Alex Lambert went from being America's punchline to America's sweetheart. Hell, I'm even starting to dig the mullet.

Todrick Hall
Song: "What's Love Got to Do With It?" by Tina Turner
Verdict: We Don’t Need Another Ballad
Todrick Hall (whose full name sounds like a college dorm) got in trouble for obliterating Kelly Clarkson last week. (I still like how weird it was.) This time, he settled for simply crapping all over Tina Turner with a tuneless, fairly straight take on "What's Love Got to Do With It?" ("Straight" being used loosely, given that the guy was rocking a silver lamé jacket. Werk.) In the pre-performance interview, we learned that Todrick was (spoiler alert!) a dancer. Also, he does push-ups to pump himself up before the show. (Funny, I thought his pre-performance ritual involved swindling parents of aspiring actors!) He went from being a dancer who sings to a dancer who sucks the life out of a TV show. He should have tried "Private Dancer" and dedicated it to season seven also-ran David Hernandez.

Jermaine Sellers
Song: "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye
Verdict: What Will Jesus Do?
Jermaine put the religious movement in an awkward position Tuesday by delivering the worst vocals of the night and then telling the critical judges he knew he'd make it to next week because Jesus was his "homeboy." If Jermaine gets eliminated Thursday, America has defied Jesus, or Jesus is just dead wrong. (And if there is a God, he'll be too busy with real issues to rig an "American Idol" vote. Hopefully.) Nevertheless, neither of those options are viable for religious folk, so it's in their best interest to text like the Holy Spirit has entered their thumbs. Jermaine's good for unintentional hilarity, though. His golfball mohawk, onesie pajamas and throat humidifier all inspired me to pick up the phone and let Mr. Sellers continue to embarrass himself.

Andrew Garcia
Song: "You Give Me Something" by James Morrison
Verdict: Breakin' 2: Electric Boogalooser
We learned that this season's golden boy can break dance! We also learned that without a guitar, the guy doesn't have a prayer. (Garcia ditched the razor, too. Did the backlit peachfuzz on his face distract anyone else?) His song choice lacked pizazz, his vocals lacked precision and his performance lacked magic. Is the uber-serious singer cracking under the pressure, or did he peak way too early in the competition? Garcia's got greatness in him for sure, but until he delivers us the "wow" we're waiting for, I'll be in my room making puffy paint shirts for Alex Lambert.

Aaron Kelly
Song: "My Girl" by the Temptations
Verdict: 16 Going on 60
With a vague Southern accent and a vibrato that shakes like a Glambert in the front row of a casino gig, Aaron Kelly's vocals sound like a sped up Elvis Presley record. The photography hobbyist definitely worked on his swagger (I spied a neck snap in the opening lines of the Motown tune!) but the karaoke arrangement undermined any progress he made. Ditto the breakdown of the song, which slowed the track down to four beats per minute and vacuumed up the remaining energy in the studio. Points to Kelly for giving us at least half of an uptempo number on a night of dreary ballads. But it was his hesitation to answer whether he likes Justin Bieber got him extra super double bonus points.

Tim Urban
Song: "Come On Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson
Verdict: Pretty Boy, Ugly Voice
A Tim Urban performance is a religious experience. He prays before he starts singing. I pray that he stop singing. Okay, so Urban's offering was oodles better than last week's catastrophe. (At least he picked a song with five notes that he could approximate.) But Ellen DeGeneres hit the nail on the head when she urged Urban to ditch the singer aspirations and focus on an acting career. And if acting isn't his forte, he has nine siblings at home — that's a TLC reality series waiting to happen. Is "Idol" really going to tell me that this was the 13th best male singer they found during auditions? Mark my words: If Urban makes it through to next week's show, he's going to perform shirtless.

Lee Dewyze
Song: "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder
Verdict: Hindrance
Lee Dewyze sang in space at the beginning of his performance, thanks to some gnarly background animations. But then he hoisted his falling jeans back up to his waist, and that evidence of gravity ruined any illusion that Dewyze was up in the stars. The former bad boy/current paint salesman delivered his second over-pimped performance of the season. Where the judges praised his "radio-friendly voice" and "risk-taking," I heard bum notes and thought he played it safe. Simon said once he gets some confidence, he could be the one to beat this year. I believe you, Simon. Just like I believe that "Idol" will be worth watching once you leave. Just not buying it yet.

Who was your favorite? Who do you think will go home Thursday? Do you think Simon praising Tim Urban was reverse psychology for viewers? What the hell were Ryan and Kara doing when she had hair in her mouth after a commercial break? Am I the only one who is starting to think that Andrew Garcia resembles Kim Jong Il? And did anyone else catch Cowell's sly "X-Factor" reference when he told Alex he wished he could pick songs for him? Leave a comment below, and you best be following me on Twitter @jambajim.

Tuesday night's (March 2) episode of "American Idol" must have snuck up on anybody who doesn't regularly read MTV News, as the Top 10 men ended up singing instead of the women because Crystal Bowersox had to be taken to the hospital. The dudes took the last minute change in stride and improved a bit on the collective failure of last week, but all told it still seems like a woman's race to lose.

The contestant who may have stepped his game up the most? That would be Tim Urban, the last-minute replacement who had the dubious distinction of being last week's "Vote for the Worst" endorsement. While he didn't cement himself as a frontrunner, his strummy take on Matt Nathanson's "Come On Get Higher" was a profound improvement over everything we've heard from him thus far. Though three of the four judges gave it a shrug, Simon Cowell actually endorsed Urban's progress rather enthusiastically, which shocked everybody (including Urban himself).

But just like Siobhan Magnus did last week with Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game," Urban introduced just a bit of discomfort into the proceedings. The lyrics to "Come On Get Higher" are a little ... explicit. Considering "American Idol" is meant to be a family show, it was odd hearing the line "So come on, get higher, loosen my lips/ Faith and desire in the swing of your hips" coming from the "American Idol" stage. Still, during an evening where yet another "Idol" hopeful broke out Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be" (perhaps the most over-covered song in "Idol" history), it was nice to hear somebody break out a rarely-heard tune (that also happens to have a great video).

Photo: Ian Keltie

The unthinkable has happened — by losing Paula’s craziness, and with Simon heading for the door, American Idol feels like it has finally reached the end of its run. Read Rob Sheffield’s story from the next issue of Rolling Stone — which hits newsstands tomorrow — one day early right here:

• Post-Paula Depression

This week's adventures in the MTV Newsroom had a lot to do with teams. It seemed like everybody was finding a partner, combining powers and barreling headlong at a common goal. Perhaps everyone suddenly became inspired by the Winter Olympics? Are they fans of WWE Unified Tag Team Champions Big Show and the Miz? Or are people just looking to stay warm during these ridiculous snow storms?

Whatever the case, before you go looking for your own tag-team partner this weekend, check out everything you might have missed this week, and be sure to stay tuned for more opinions, humor, insights and behind-the-scenes awesomeness next week!

» When he announced he would be performing on "Saturday Night Live," Justin Bieber found himself in the exclusive club of the youngest "SNL" performers of all time.

» All types of teams showed off during the Olympics this week, including some ice dancers who summoned the power of Linkin Park during their routine.

» Not all of this week's teams were current, as we celebrated the 30th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice.

» This weekend, the U.S. hockey team will play for gold with the assistance of Kings of Leon and Metallica.

» Meanwhile at Disneyland, Michael Jackson got the opportunity to get back together with an alien named Hooter when "Captain EO" returned to the lineup in Tomorrowland.

» "American Idol" contestants usually stand alone when they perform, though they're always joining forces with famous songs. The best one this week was Siobhan Magnus' version of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game."

» Based on the greatness of the Young Money album, we wondered which posse albums were the greatest of all time. When the votes came in, G-Unit stood at the top.

» Snoop Dogg got back together with the cast of "One Life to Live" for another stunner of a guest spot on the soap.

» Thanks to a friendly pair of gloves, Lady Gaga narrowly managed to avoid being totally naked on the cover of a music magazine.

» Speaking of Gaga, we found out that a lot of people team up with the spirit of Gaga for crazy covers.

» Jennifer Hudson's fiancé David Otunga joined forces with his own muscles for a killer debut on "WWE NXT."

» Erykah Badu wanted to get to know Paul McCartney so she could sample a song, and she succeeded using the power of Twitter.

» Conan O'Brien joined up with a monkey, a squirrel and a computer to craft the greatest Twitter feed yet imagined by man or beast.

» Finally, MTV News engineered two team-ups this week, both care of digital producer Rich Sancho. The first brought together Justin Bieber and Lil Wayne for a collaboration, while the second melded Lady Gaga's "Monster" with Tiger Woods' apology. They're both remarkable and should keep you entertained throughout the weekend. Enjoy!

There was a time when grace and dignity ruled the land. When disappointed singers whose "journey" ended on "American Idol" in the first few semi-final rounds shed a crocodile tear (or 20), got their obligatory fake hug from host Ryan Seacrest, sang their most recent karaoke number again (invariably just a bit less terribly than the night or two before) and then shuffled off this mortal coil never to be heard from again.

But on Thursday (February 25) night's first elimination show of season nine, a strange thing happened: The four men and women who got the boot didn't open the fake water works and just go away. They went away mad. Like a mistake had been made, or as if they deserved to be on the show no matter what those dumb 24 million voters thought!

The first boot-ee, Florida beach blonde Janell Wheeler, handled it best when she got the hook over teen Katie Stevens. She did the requisite fake smile and gave the camera some decent pageant face as Seacrest did his water torture bit and read the results as slowly as possible. "That sucks," she said, snapping her fingers exaggeratedly and making a joke about her banana yellow shirt when Seacrest generously called her one of this season's "bright stars." She gave props to the girls and predicted one of them would win, sang terribly again and left just like bottom rung contestants are supposed to.

But then things got really tense when it was Ashley Rodriguez's turn. The Berklee College of Music grad couldn't help but purse her lips and shoot daggers at Ellen DeGeneres when the new judge said this was just "a new beginning" for whoever went home. She continued to put on her worst fake smile as she gave Didi Benami the world's least sincere girl hug. "Well, what do you think?" Seacrest said. Rodriguez shook her head and said sarcastically, "Well, I'm gonna sing a song." Speaking as slowly as possible to ensure the proper tone of sarcasm was relayed, she said, "I want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me from day one," shrugging her shoulders and narrowing her eyes in resignation.

If anyone had reason to be pissed, it was poor Joe Munoz. After getting almost zero time during the Hollywood rounds, Munoz had the distinction of being tossed over Tim Urban, a singer so bad he almost made me pine for Sanjaya and hope that the "Idol" brass might do an about-face and bring Chris Golightly back. Fittingly, Urban was gob-smacked by his save, looking like a car crash survivor who walked away from a 10-care pile-up without a scratch only to find out he'd won the lottery with a ticket he bought just moments before the accident. "America votes, so I wasn't expecting anything," Munoz said as Seacrest poured on the smarm by calling him a wonderful guy with a positive spirit. When reprising his final song, Munoz just looked like he wanted to punch someone, shaking his clenched left fist around as he sang through gritted teeth.

This year's resident rocker didn't even pretend to be surprised. Floppy-haired retro mess Tyler Grady smiled wanly from behind his bang curtain, his thumbs hooked in his skinny faded jean pockets when Simon Cowell predicted he'd go home. But when nerve-wracked mulletman Alex Lambert got the save, Grady just gave up the goat and looked like he wanted to pull a Hendrix and set fire to something. He pushed his hair out of his face and proceeded to give a lame speech about how he liked the judges, but felt their constructive criticism came too late (which drew a sarcastic smirk from Cowell), coming off like the cute boy in high school who is surprised that he got a C on his final exam paper after flirting with his young-ish English teacher all semester but not really doing any of the required reading.

He lamely tried to eye-bang America one more time during a quarter-hearted reprise of his Kravitz-like cover of "American Woman," and then he was never heard from again.

What do you think? Did the eliminated contestants seem more angry or put-off than usual last night? Let us know in the comments!

Well, that didn't accomplish very much. On Thursday (February 25), the MTV Newsroom Blog asked "American Idol" fans what they think of the job that Ellen DeGeneres is doing on the show. With a handful of episodes under her belt, it seemed like a handful of patterns were emerging, and based on popular opinion, her performance was either working perfectly or a total disaster.

In the poll presented yesterday, we took a look at some of Ellen's more memorable moments from the past few episodes (including her prolonged and sort of surreal banana metaphor from the February 24 show) and then gave fans five choices to judge how she was doing. Apparently, many of you are quite enthusiastic about her thus far, as 49 percent of the vote went to "Great! She should keep doing what she is doing." However, that was followed close behind by "I miss Paula," which picked up 29 percent. In third place (and admittedly the one we voted for) with 15 percent of the vote was "Good for now, but needs to get better." Five percent of the fans thought "She's no good now, but she'll be fine," while only two percent clicked on "She's fine, but I don't see her improving."

For her part, Ellen seems enthusiastic about her work thus far. "I'll tell ya, I like being live because anything can happen on live television," she told the studio audience during Thursday night's results show.

So the audience remains split on Ellen's work on "Idol." Luckily, there are still many, many episodes to go before another winner is crowned, and she'll have plenty of time to adjust whatever it is she needs to adjust.

But what do you think? What should Ellen do differently? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

The season's first "American Idol" eliminations are in the books, and now Tyler Grady, Janell Wheeler, Ashley Rodriguez and Joe Munoz will have to pursue their dreams of pop stardom on their own. All of the eliminations seemed to make sense (though Tim Urban was arguably worse than Grady) and each one was accompanied by an "Idol" tradition: The exit song.

This season, Will Young's "Leave Right Now" is the tune that will send fallen "Idol" contestants back to the real world. Considering the title and the fact that Young is a former "Pop Idol" winner in the U.K., it's a logical fit (even though it was big on the British charts all the way back in 2003). However, when played over the exit montages last night, it sounded simultaneously harsh and dour, especially considering the chorus: "I think I better leave right now/ Before I fall any deeper/ I think I better leave right now/ Feeling weaker and weaker."

Why such a bummer, "Idol" producers? The exit song has always had a bit of hope and uplift behind it, which "Leave Right Now" most certainly does not. When Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" became the first exit song in 2005, it not only became a chart smash but also set a certain tone for future entries, like Reuben Studdard's cover of "Celebrate Me Home," Carrie Underwood's take on Mötley Crüe's "Home Sweet Home" and Daughtry's "Home." The idea was that even though these people had failed, at least they were returning to their families, loved ones and normal lives out of the spotlight. "Bad Day" was especially effective because the lyrics passively wrote off every contestant's elimination as an anomaly. They were still great singers — they just had a bad day.

It seems very possible the the use of Young's "Leave Right Now" is a bid to get his career going again, as he has done little since his initial breakthrough and has yet to make an impact in America. But if the producers of "American Idol" really wanted to harsh the contestants as they walked out the door, they should have gone whole hog and used one of the songs below.

Mötley Crüe, "Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)"
They've already used one Crüe song in the past (Underwood's cover of the Theatre of Pain ballad "Home Sweet Home"), so why not go back to the well? This classic Dr. Feelgood anthem would express what everybody was thinking, especially in the early stages of the eliminations: You've got nothing to cry about, and we no longer want to hear you sing.

Arctic Monkeys, "Leave Before the Lights Come On"
Because the theater needs to be cleaned up, and we can't have you hanging around. Also, turn in your security badge on the way out.

Dixie Chicks, "Goodbye Earl"
Note: For this one to work, all the contestants would have to be named "Earl," which would probably be difficult (especially for the women). Perhaps that's a vocal tic that Seacrest could pick up. "I'm Ryan Seacrest, and I call everybody Earl!"

Paul Simon, "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
Just slip out the back, Jack.

Jeff Buckley, "Last Goodbye"
If people are going to keep covering Buckley's "Hallelujah," you might as well bring another tune into the fold. This is only relevant if you want to go the morose route (though to be honest, we'll never hear from Joe Munoz again).

Oingo Boingo, "Goodbye Goodbye"
If it worked for "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," it can work for "American Idol."

What do you think? Is "Leave Right Now" a good "American Idol" exit song? What would you have picked? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Now that we're a handful of episodes into Ellen DeGeneres' tenure as a judge on "American Idol," we can start to adjudicate how she's doing. Of course, it takes time to develop a comfortable rapport on a a show like "American Idol," especially when you're the new kid. But perhaps the biggest knock on DeGeneres' performance so far is that she seems sort of uncomfortable. This strikes us as a little odd, especially considering she has hosted a talk show for so long and has never seemed awkward on camera or even in front of a live audience (after all, she made her bones on the stand-up circuit before becoming a television star).

We have faith that her advice and judgments will get better (it seems like she's bound to find a groove, just like the contestants) and there have already been inspired moments like Wednesday night's (February 25) prolonged banana metaphor. It was a delightfully off-kilter, absurdly funny run that hinted at the sort of lightheartedness that Ellen can bring to the table. It's a tone that hasn't really been on "Idol" before, and it could really lead to something great down the line (especially once some of the contestants get eliminated and the competition heats up).

Still, take a look at the video below of some of Ellen's highs and lows this season, then vote in the poll below. Is she doing a good job? What could she do to get better? Let us know!

It's still a little early, but now that we're on the cusp of the first set of big eliminations on "American Idol," it may be time to start panicking. As any show aficionado will admit to you, the ninth season of "American Idol" has been pretty flat so far. It isn't so much the contestants (the first week is always a little jittery, and there was so much promise shown during the audition and Hollywood Week episodes that they'll have to come around sooner or later).

Sadly, the big problem with this season of "American Idol" is squarely at the judges' table. In the second year of the Kara DioGuardi experiment, she continues to deliver very little. And perhaps shockingly, Ellen DeGeneres has brought very little to the proceedings, offering up little more than passive praise, labored metaphors meant to be comedy bits and a total lack of chemistry with the rest of the group. When you combine that with the fact that Simon Cowell seems bored all the time, you get a drama-free show.

Those issues haven't necessarily stopped people from watching (even with record numbers coming in for the Winter Olympics, "Idol" is still pulling in a robust audience), but it's perhaps looking like the producers should have ponied up for whatever Paula Abdul was asking for. Even though she became known as the judge who delivered blanket praise, Paula was actually the wild card of the group. You never quite knew what she was going to say or do, and the intrigue surrounding her contributions (not to mention the tension between her and Cowell) made for great television even when the singing was bland. Without her there, the show has become ... well, sort of boring.

The lesson: Don't mess with the formula. Television audiences are creatures of habit, and the slightest shift in any direction (especially on a show that has been proven to work) can totally upend an otherwise excellent show. The producers of "American Idol" should have learned that lesson from the shows below — and they should keep it in mind once Cowell exits at the end of this season.

"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
Will Smith's world-conquering sitcom rolled along for three seasons until the role of Vivian Banks was re-cast. It wasn't so much that new actress Daphne Reid wasn't as good as Janet Hubert-Whitten (though she wasn't). The real problem was that all of a sudden the Vivian character became a completely different individual, shifting from a tough-minded career woman to a wallflower of a homemaker. Coupled with the arrival of Baby Nicky — who started to take up more and more time on the show — and you get a far less interesting series. It continued on for three more seasons, but most fans only acknowledge the first Aunt Viv.

"The Dukes of Hazzard"
The hit series about the backwater misadventures of Bo and Luke Duke was a hit, but in one of the stranger cases in television history, the charismatic pair were replaced by cousins Coy and Vance for an entire season of the show. The logic on the show was that Bo and Luke had left to race in NASCAR, but the actual reason for the switch was that stars Tom Wopat and John Schneider walked out over a contractual dispute. Regardless, the replacements didn't quite work. Even though they looked a lot like Bo and Luke and the same writers were cranking out scripts, it just wasn't the same. Ratings dipped, and Bo and Luke were brought back (presumably because their racing careers had fizzled).

"Saved by the Bell"
The original series — a sorta-hit by '90s standards and certainly a prolonged source of nostalgia for many — faced a difficult casting decision when stars Tiffani Thiessen and Elizabeth Berkley bolted for greener pastures before the "graduation" season began. To fill in the blank left by the show's two big female stars, they introduced biker chick Tori into the proceedings. Those episodes have faded into memory, and they were made almost entirely irrelevant because Thiessen and Berkley were in the graduation finale with no mention of Tori. All told, without Kelly and Jesse, the show fell apart.

"The Real World"
"The Real World" essentially invented reality television a decade before it became the dominant theme on TV, but it changed dramatically a few seasons in. In the beginning, it was simply a sociological experiment that was essentially a show about people arguing. But following the fourth season (which was in London, and was almost completely static), the producers introduced the idea of forcing the cast members to work together (usually on some sort of business idea). It went from letting arguments happen to introducing reasons to argue, which made the show a little bit more contrived. Hardcore "Real World" scholars only consider the first four seasons the "real" versions of the show.

"Twin Peaks"
Even though "Twin Peaks" was a hit for bizarro filmmaker David Lynch, there was pressure from the network to solve the mystery that held the show together. Lynch intended the mystery to continue ad infinitum, so once the question was answered, it simply became a character study for the weirdos who inhabited the town. Lynch left, the tone shifted, a bevy of unwanted new characters showed up and the show was canceled after its second season.

"The Brady Bunch"
Nearly 30 years later, everybody still hates Cousin Oliver.

What do you think? What do you consider the worst shift in TV history? Do you think "American Idol" can survive this?

Wednesday night's (February 24) "American Idol" was bad. Really bad. Like, makes-you-question-the-meaning-of-life-bad. The debut of season nine's Top 12 boys (no men here) did the impossible: It out-sucked the girls' tepid outing from Tuesday. By a lot. Let's just get to the carnage.

Todrick Hall
Song: "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson
Verdict: The Wizard of Odd
Todrick opened the show on an offbeat note by putting Kelly Clarkson's signature anthem in a blender with fuzzed out synths, jangly African guitars, Morris Day R&B, atonal background singers, gospel vocal inflections and a dollop of a spoken word. It was as close to a Dirty Projectors song as we'll ever get on "American Idol." It may have left the judges scratching their heads (Randy used the word "obliterated"), but Pitchfork would give it an 9.2. Personally, I dug it. He may have been trying too hard, but I thought his vocals were far better than he was given credit for. Furthermore, Tuesday night the panel criticized the girls for not taking risks. A day later, Hall takes a risk and he gets blasted. The judge's inconsistency is far more baffling than Todrick's arrangement.

Aaron Kelly
Song: "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts
Verdict: Here Comes the Judge's Pimping
Aaron seems like a nice young man. I wish him well. I also wish him a stylist, because the gray plaid and jeans getup (combined with the "mature" Rascal Flatts song) made him look like he had just been stopped in a mall and asked to perform by a sketchy talent scout. (Perhaps a friend of Todrick's!) Kelly's nerves were undeniable, but the judges gave him a free pass. You'll notice I've retired my "Countryleta" nickname for Aaron. Until he impresses me with his vocals again, it feels weird to associate him with David Archuleta. Also weird? Seacrest made no mention of season six finalist Chris Sligh, who co-wrote "Here Comes Goodbye." Why the snub? That seems like a perfectly good and appropriate opportunity to let "Idol" pat itself on the back. I guess you have to win an Oscar before "Idol" claims an also-ran as one of its own.

Jermaine Sellers
Song: "Get Here" by Oleta Adams
Verdict: Get The Eff Out
In film school, a wise professor once told me to watch "bad" movies as often as possible because learning what not to do can be just as valuable as studying a classic. If I applied that philosophy to "American Idol" performances, Jermaine Sellers' insane offering was a master class. Creepy whispery voice? Check. Constipated high notes? Check. Pointless runs? Check. Ugly faces that made him look like he was having a stroke? Check. The only thing missing was an awkward interview ... but wait! We got that, too! In his post-judging chat, Seacrest asked Sellers if he ever apologized to "Michael" for his Hollywood Week diva tantrum. A confused Jermaine responded with, "Who's Michael?" even though Michael is Michael Orland, the "Idol" pianist/arranger/associate musical director who Seacrest dragged on stage! At the very least, Jermaine taught us a new maneuver when deflecting nasty comments from Simon Cowell: Do the stanky leg!

Tim Urban
Song: "Apologize" by OneRepublic
Verdict: Falsetto Fail = Failsetto
Tim Urban must have got up Wednesday morning thinking it was opposite day. How else to explain the logic behind picking OneRepublic's hit? "I have no falsetto, so I'm going to sing a song that's 75 percent high notes I can't hit if my life depended on it." It reminded me of that one time I attempted a Robyn song at karaoke. I was all cocky, thinking, "I got this." And then the chorus came and I sounded like Winston the Cat. If I were Tim, I'm not sure which judge's critique would sadden me more. Was it Simon's "We absolutely made the right decision not to put you in the first time?" Or Ellen essentially saying, "I want to watch you muted because you're hot but your voice sucks?" If Tim does make it through to the Top 20, let's all pray that he realizes his weakness is high notes. Otherwise, we're in for a dreadful rendition of Jeff Buckley's "Corpus Christi Carol" next week.

Joe Munoz
Song: "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz
Verdict: Pleased To Meet You
Joe Munoz's good-but-not-great Mraz cover benefited from following three dreadful performances in the show rundown. To hear a contestant stay on key for more than three notes at a time and look comfortable on camera was a total "Eureka!" I agree with Simon that it's not going to get him out of the "Idol bubble," but at least the guy was in the bubble. Jermaine and Tim weren't even in the soapy water you need to make a bubble. But I'm calling Simon out for describing Joe's performance as "forgettable" and "limp" ten minutes after he gushed over Aaron Kelly's forgettable and limp performance.

Tyler Grady
Song: "American Woman" by The Guess Who?
Verdict: Jim Bore-ison
Poor Tyler Grady. Just a week ago, the judges kissed his skinny butt for copying the rock star posturing of Jim Morrison, Roger Daltry and Robert Plant. Now the same judges are reaming him for copying the rock star posturing of Jim Morrison, Roger Daltry and Robert Plant! I understand what they mean. They hoped he would add a Mick Jagger swagger to a contemporary song instead of just doing an empty classic rock cover. But they might have to be a little more explicit with the young lad, who strikes me as a tad flighty. Exhibit D: His plan of attack to address the judge's "all style/no substance" criticisms? "I guess I'll have to go to the mall." Yep! That'll solve that problem!

Lee Dewyze
Song: "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol
Verdict: A Bumpy Ride
On paper, Lee Dewyze has the makings of a "dark horse" contestant. He didn't get a lot of pre-season screen time, he has pre-"Idol" music that fans will geek out over and he's an intensely serious rocker, not exactly the kind of artist you think of when you hear "American Idol." (Unless, you know, you've heard of David Cook.) So if Dewyze's journey will be that of the "dark horse" this year, our champ is off to a bumpy, uneven ride. The good: He replaced the ethereal atmosphere of Snow Patrol's recording with a plucky coffeehouse guitar riff. That shows creativity. The bad: His singing voice, which is like an amalgam of every douche-rocker that's topped the charts from John Mayer to Darius Rucker to Chad Kroeger to Dave Matthews to Scott Stapp. The judges were equally conflicted. Kara wanted him to do Bad Company (huh?!), Randy wanted him to go harder (what?!), Ellen wanted him to stop shouting (thanks!) and Simon thought it was the best performance by a mile. (Simon clearly forgot what the words "best" and "mile" meant.) I'm pulling for Lee. In my "Idol" crystal ball I see potential superstar moments from the guy. He just needs to learn how to tame that beastly voice first.

John Park
Song: "God Bless the Child" by Billie Holliday
Verdict: God Bless the Fast Forward Button
John Park followed up the funniest pre-performance interview packages (where he professed his love for, and proposed to, Shania Twain) with one of the most depressing performances of the night. Looking like a deer in headlights, sounding like a suffering cow, his song choice made even less sense than Kara's blouse (silver studs and strings of cubic zirconium). Make up your mind, people! You can't be the class clown one second and then dedicate a 69-year-old song to your parents the next. Speaking of parents, Papa Park's "bitch, please!" face after Simon ripped his son a new one was delicious. When I get elected President, my first order of business will be to put it on our currency.

Michael Lynche
Song: "This Love" by Maroon 5
Verdict: Muscle and Flow
"Ladies and Gentleman, tonight the role of John Mayer will be played by Michael Clark Duncan." Big Mike's offering was an indifferent shrug on a night of "hell to the no's" so it was a small victory. But I jumped off the Big Mike bandwagon as soon as I realized the only thing larger than his biceps is his ego. Simmer down, dude. There's no reason to shout random phrases at the judges and flex your guns like you're James Brown on PCP. You're freaking me out.

Alex Lambert
Song: "Wonderful World" by James Morrison
Verdict: Nervous Nervous Nervous
Alex Lambert has a serious problem. (And I'm not talking about his penchant for wearing sunglasses indoors.) He likes to sing, but he gets crippling stage fright. What's a mullet to do? Why, audition for "American Idol!" For the entirety of the song (the longest 90 seconds in TV history), Lambert stared at the camera like a six-year-old in an electronics store who saw himself on TV for the first time. Occasionally he would bop to a beat. (Not the song's beat, mind you.) At the very least, Lambert picked the perfect ditty, given these lyrics. "People look at me and they know/ They can tell something is wrong/ Like I don't belong." You hit the nail on the head! The only thing more awkward than the performance? The judging! Simon, Randy and Kara were stumped as to how to offer the guy constructive criticism without making him cry. Luckily, Ellen lightened up the mood by making a long, rambling analogy about ripe bananas.

Casey James
Song: "Heaven" by Bryan Adams
Verdict: Kara Is The Worst
Casey James' should be relishing in the glory of delivering the night's best performance. The stripped down beginning of "Heaven" was the closest we got to an "A-ha!" moment Wednesday night. Unfortunately, Kara DioGuardi (and producers) felt the need to shove this "Kara Wants To Jump Casey's Bones" plotline down America's throat by cutting to DioGahhhhh blushing and drooling throughout James' song. (You know if they had a split screen graphic handy, they totally would have used it.) Isn't it weird that just a few years ago the show was almost derailed by the Paula Abdul/Corey Clark controversy, and now producers are basically encouraging that situation? I'm proud of Ellen for apologizing to Casey for the judges' immature behavior but the damage was done. Cougar Kara is here to stay. I'd talk more about Casey's performance, but as Ellen noted, "It doesn't really matter." Side note: I'm not the target audience, but is Casey really that attractive? He looks like a chubbier version of Bucky Covington to me. I don't get it.

Andrew Garcia
Song: "Sugar We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy
Verdict: The Golden Boy Falls Down
Andrew Garcia's Fall Out Boy cover was one of the strangest things I've ever seen on "American Idol." (That includes Nicole Tranquillo's Chaka Kahn impression, mind you.) It almost felt like an avant-garde performance art piece. Like, some kind of Warholian comment on his role on the show. It was risky yet safe at the same time. On one hand, he taught America what Patrick Stump was really singing these past five years. On the other hand, Garcia's been playing the unplugged fratboy card for weeks now. We learned nothing new about the stay-at-home-dad Wednesday night. (Even his pre-performance package used recycled footage of his wife and baby!) It was intense, joyless and ultimately pointless. Let the Garcia backlash commence!

What did you think of the Top 12 boys? Do you think Todrick would have gotten better reviews if he came later in the show? (I do!) Did anyone inspire you to vote? Do you think Simon would ever be allowed to leer over a female contestant the way Kara fawns over Casey? How much do you miss Season 8? Leave a comment below! And make sure you follow me on Twitter for more "Idol" ramblings. I'll see everyone Friday with the season premiere of "American Idol in 60 Seconds!"

Wednesday night's (February 24) episode of "American Idol" didn't provide a whole lot of memorable moments (more on that later), save for another potentially star-making turn care of "Idol" favorite Andrew Garcia. He took Fall Out Boy's breakout hit single "Sugar, We're Going Down" and smoothed it out to a shuffling acoustic ditty that sounded simultaneously sweet and heartbreaking.

Garcia tapped into the same approach that made his stripped-down version of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" such a head-turner during the audition process. Unfortunately, the judges weren't as enthusiastic about "Sugar, We're Going Down" as they were about "Straight Up" (they seemed to think the treatment of the song was too much of a downer).

Despite the panning from Simon and the rest of the judges, "Sugar, We're Going Down" was an excellent choice for Garcia. It's got nice balance of pop hooks and pathos, and it was remarkable how well it translated from rollicking anthem to slowed-down acoustic torch song.

Here's the question, though: Could Garcia have been making a comment on the fact that we recently pointed out that Garcia sort of looks a lot like former Fall Out Boy guitar tech Brian Keith Diaz? No matter what his intention was, he certainly caught the attention of Fall Out Boy bassist and lyricist Pete Wentz, who e-mailed MTV News' James Montgomery last night to say, "What's up with that dude who looks like Brian Keith Diaz doing 'Sugar' on 'Idol' last night?" Wentz also weighed in via Twitter: "I think he killed it," he tweeted at Ryan Seacrest. "Team Andrew Garcia."

You can check out Garcia's performance here and compare it to the original tune — which still sounds fresh and vital today — in the tongue-in-cheek video below.

After weeks and weeks of auditions, and after weeks and weeks of hearing Randy, Simon, Ellen and Kara talk about how a girl is going to win this year hands down, the "American Idol" ladies finally premiered Tuesday night (February 23). And the verdict? It was a lot like seeing "Slumdog Millionaire" three months into its theatrical run: Everyone you know talked it up, it was nominated for like 55 Oscars and then you pay your $12.50 and you watch the little kid get covered in excrement and you walk out of the theater going, "Really? That was it?"

We've got 12 performances to rip through, so before I go on a rant about how offensive I found Ellen and Simon's "Sexual Harassment Is Acceptable (And Hilarious) If Your Co-Worker Is A Lesbian" sketch, let's get right to the performances.

Paige Miles
Song: "All Right Now" by Free
Verdict: Wrong By A Mile(s)
We hadn't heard a peep from Paige during the "Idol" pre-season, which is a crying shame since her final Hollywood Week performance looked as though it brought the house down. The tiny hints of personality we saw suggests she could have actually had a little following going into these semi-final shows if "Idol" weren't so fixated on grandmothers with Alzheimer's. Instead, viewers were left with an uneven rock/soul vocal that was more "wedding" than a "Bridezilla" marathon. Simon called out her rough song choice but Kara DioFakeTan thought it was a "brilliant" decision. (This coming from a woman who thought hiring Evan Lysacek's costume designer to make her earrings was brilliant, too.) And as if going first on the show (always a death spot — just ask Rudy Cardenas) and getting zero screen time until Tuesday wasn't insulting enough, her segment ended with Seacrest all but forcing the Eartha Kitt lookalike to admit that she had been sewn into her dress and couldn't pee for five hours. Yikes. (Also, sewn into a dress? What, is "Idol" holding "Project Runway" challenges backstage now?)

Ashley Rodgriguez
Song: "Happy" by Leona Lewis
Verdict: Depressing
The Jordin Sparks-obsessed Ashley thought it would be a good idea to swallow the distractingly shiny microphone. Add the poor audio mix into the equation (think 95 percent vocals, five percent tinny board feed from the band) and the result was a dreary, labored take on a dreary, labored Leona Lewis ballad. (Fun Kara fact: Leona Lewis is this generation's Mariah Carey!) Randy, Kara and Ellen all pussyfooted around how forgettable Ashley was but Simon was straight with her. "No originality," he proclaimed. What will do without him next year? They might as well put three puppies on the panel that Seacrest could fake out with an invisible stick after every performance. Hell, it'd be a lot more entertaining to watch.

Janell Wheeler
Song: "What About Love" by Heart
Verdict: What about pitch?
The pretty blond who sang "American Boy" in Hollywood week (as opposed to the pretty blond who sang Kara DioGuardi in Hollywood week or the pretty blond whose parents are divorced) turned me off the second she said in her pre-performance interview that she was going to do what she's been told she does best: "Light up the stage." Alas, her broken Heart did not light up the stage. It lit up my bitchy side, however. I know this because the only notes I jotted down were "like watching a drunk mom" and "Is she wearing jean leggings?!" I also noted that Randy didn't like the performance but he "still has vibes" about her. Vibes, ladies and gentleman! I'm so glad we're letting such capable critics have an outlet for their insightful constructive criticism!

Lilly Scott
Song: "Fixing A Hole" by the Beatles
Verdict: Fixing the show
Imagine Zooey Deschanel playing Jessica Rabbit in a platinum wig, haphazardly strumming a guitar that might not be plugged in and purring through a Sgt. Pepper's deep cut so seductively you might wonder what "hole" she's singing about. That sounds like a disaster, but Lilly Scott (or "The Pride of Denver," as Seacrest called her as if she were a giant ball of twine or something) livened up the show tenfold with a memorable, imaginative interpretation. Randy said Lilly was a "real indie artist" and then compared her to Lilly Allen and Adele (two singers signed to major labels — High five, Randy!). I just hope America's ready for Lilly's offbeat charms.

Katelyn Epperly
Song: "Oh! Darling" by the Beatles
Verdict: Her Majesty
At first glance, Katelyn Epperly's new "done-up" look was off-putting. Her curly fro had grown so large I half expected Chris Golightly to jump out from her roots holding a rush-job memoir in one hand and court papers in the other. But then Katelyn sang like a pro and made me regret suggesting Angela Martin should have taken her spot in the Top 24. Suddenly, frivolity like "makeovers" didn't matter any more. If only the judges were mature enough to overlook things like hair clips and lipsticks. Nope. Instead, Katelyn was given the classic Iraheta treatment. ("Iraheta treatment" being defined as when the judges nitpick over non-issues instead of giving a singer the glowing praise he or she deserves.) Simon had compliments for Katelyn, but they were surrounded by words like "messy" and "shouting." The shouting gripe was ironic considering my own criticism for Katelyn was that she didn't push her voice hard enough to get that guttural wail McCartney does so brilliantly on the original recording. I guess Simon isn't familiar with the Beatles catalogue. Why should he be? [Eyeroll.]

Haeley Vaughn
Song: "I Want to Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles
Verdict: I Want You To Sing Better
OK, folks. Here's where I get tomatoes thrown at my head. I like Haeley Vaughn and her newly-pierced nose a whole lot. I agree that listening to her singing voice is about as pleasant as grinding a Brillo pad into your bathing suit area. And yes, her lisp can be distracting. And yes, she started on the show as a "black country pop star" but hasn't sung a country song in ages. However, she has that "it" quality about her. Her smile makes me smile. (It makes Simon angry, though — he compared her to a wind-up doll.) Listen, do I think she'll be our next "Idol"? With a hot mess voice like that, of course not. But could she be the next Nickelodeon star? Without a doubt. Let's keep her around for another couple of weeks while the show's still padded with bores. I promise I'll abandon ship once truly talented people are up for elimination. Until then:Go Pooters!

Lacey Brown
Song: "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac
Verdict: Oh. My. God.
Lacey Brown is the "Idol" equivalent of that woman who recently tripped and accidentally destroyed a Picasso at the Met. She took a masterpiece and ruined it beyond repair, breaking my heart in the process. Not only am I a diehard Fleetwood Mac fan, but I'm a diehard Lacey Brown fan, too. She had my vote thanks to the audition episodes, but in those audition episodes she didn't sound like there was a goat stuck in her belly shrieking to get out. I focused on anything — the pointless spiral staircase animation behind her, Lacey's asymmetrical floral kimono blouse with a tank top underneath, the remote control's confusing asterisk button — just to get through the longest 90 seconds of my life.

Michelle Delamor
Song: "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys
Verdict: Failin'
The corporate singer/sales associate/children's choir leader with a large family and a winning smile chose one of the most cliché "Idol" songs ever. Therefore I refuse to write about her. Instead, I will watch this old video of Japanese monkey waiters.

Didi Benami
Song: "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson
Verdict: Off Key-Key
Another early fave of mine flames out spectacularly. Her first mistake was ditching her guitar. Why wouldn't she show off that she's more than "just" a vocalist during this first semi-final show? The other mistake was wrapping herself up in a floor mat taken from the outside of a Berkeley college dorm room. Didi's impression of Ingrid Michaelson was pleasant enough (and if not many people know who you're copying, you appear to be far more clever and interesting than you really are), but then the second verse arrived and Didi said, "the hell with pitch!" In her interview package, she said she wanted to refrain from getting teary-eyed on the show. After that low-key (and unfortunately off-key) debut, I was the one left crying on my couch.

Siobhan Magnus
Song: "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak
Verdict: Wicked Awesome
Siobhan is a glass-blowing apprentice, which has already yielded three oral sex innuendos from the men on the show. (Stay classy, Seacrest!) And if I may get in on the wordplay action, the girl blew me away Tuesday night. I wasn't expecting Siobhan (who we've only seen yowl like a rock star) to slink into my living room dressed in her finest Geisha threads crooning my ultimate karaoke jam, "Wicked Game." Unlike Paige (remember her from 90 minutes ago?) and Janell — who picked songs against type haphazardly — Siobhan found an unexpected tune that showcased her impressive range, her vulnerability and a pretty uncanny Chris Isaak impression.

Crystal Bowersox
Song: "Hand In My Pocket" by Alanis Morissette
Verdict: You Oughta Know to Pick Smarter Songs
Crystal's pre-performance interview package showed a lot of her adorable baby boy, who the Bowersox cited as the main reason she auditioned for the show. (Side note: Do we know Baby Bowersox' name yet? I hope it's Jack, because Jack Bowersox sounds like the name a "24" fan would give to their cat.) Crystal did a good job establishing who she is: A dreadheaded troubadour who plays the guitar and the harmonica. (Her white teeth and business casual attire were nice additions, too.) But until she picks smarter songs that don't already have a female street busker feel to them (like, as Simon suggested, a Bowie song), Crystal won't kick her "Idol" career to the next level. She's new to this reality show thing, remember? She might need a week or two to catch up. (I loved when she responded to Simon's "be more original" comment with, "They don't allow original [songs] on the show." She really has no idea what she got herself into, does she?)

Katie Stevens
Song: "Feeling Good" a la Micheal Bublé
Verdict: Nina Bemoan
Katie's obviously a producer's favorite. She scored the pimp spot that closes the show, and she got extra screen time during a random "backstage" interview segment with Seacrest earlier in the episode. Funny how that works. Yet I'm confused as to why producers would be so gung-ho about shoving this girl down our throats when she's gonna go and pick a head-scratcher of a number like "Feeling Good" to make her grand live "Idol" debut. First of all, this song is a death trap on "Idol" semi-final shows. Second of all, Adam Lambert owned this song less than a year ago. Most importantly, it's old-fashioned, which is never a good idea when you're a 17-year-old (though somehow dressed like an eight-year-old) on "American Idol." (I suppose that's what happens when you hang out with your grandmother 24/7). Katie sang the song well, but you know what? I look pretty great in a tuxedo with tails, yet you don't see me busting that out when I have a black tie event. On a personal level, I finally figured out who Katie reminds me of: Famous chef and Food Network personality Alexandra Guarnaschelli. If Alexandra slapped on a little girl's headband, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

What did you think of Tuesday night's Top 24 premiere? Who were your faves? Did you cheer when Randy used the word "sharp" instead of "pitchy?" Who do you think is in danger of elimination this week? And most of all, do you still think a girl's going to win "Idol" this season? Leave a comment below, and you can follow my "Idol" ramblings on Twitter, too.

Tuesday night's (February 23) episode of "American Idol" was full of notable moments, including the real judging debut of Ellen DeGeneres (more on her later) and attention-grabbing performances care of Katelyn Epperly and Paige Miles. But the highlight of the night was undoubtedly Siobhan Magnus' performance of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game."

Magnus' performance of the song was only so-so (Simon described it as "a bit dark"), but she deserves credit for taking on an unusual and difficult tune. "Wicked Game" is an extremely tough song with a twisting melody that is more about tone and mood than Isaak's vocal performance. Originally released in 1989 on the album Heart Shaped World, "Wicked Game" became Isaak's breakthrough hit after being featured in the David Lynch film "Wild at Heart" (which came out in 1990 and starred Nicolas Cage and Lynch favorite Laura Dern). Since then, it has been somewhat ubiquitous in pop culture, scoring numerous television shows (including key moments on "Beverly Hills, 90210," "Friends" and "Melrose Place") and has been covered by everybody from Giant Drag to H.I.M. to R.E.M. to Stone Sour.

But perhaps the most notable aspect of "Wicked Game" is the incredibly sexy video that accompanied the song's rise to the upper echelon of the Billboard charts. The clip, directed by legendary fashion photographer Herb Ritts (Madonna's "Cherish," Michael Jackson's "In the Closet") features Isaak writhing around on a beach with barely-clothed model Helena Christensen. Shot in black and white, it became an MTV staple for a brief time and scored Isaak three VMAs. It regularly shows up on lists of the greatest videos ever made, and it's extremely easy to see why.

Even though we were only providing news, insight and humor for four days this week (thanks, President's Day!), there was still a remarkable amount of excellent news tumbling out of the Internet and onto the MTV Newsroom Blog. It was a fantastic batch of stories featuring an eclectic batch of stars, from John Mayer and Lady Gaga to Mitt Romney and Olympic skier Hannah Kearney.

If you've like us, you're going to spend your weekend seeing "Shutter Island," wishing the snow would melt and maintaining a nasty case of Olympic Fever. But before you indulge in all of that, be sure to catch up with everything you might have missed.

» After she won a trio of prizes and made jaws drop with her performance at the Brit Awards, Lady Gaga threw her support behind a series of designer condoms. Practice safe sex, Little Monsters!

» John Mayer's Playboy controversy appears to have blown over, but that didn't stop us from analyzing some select lyrics from Mayer's catalog. We still can't believe he has a song called "My Stupid Mouth."

» We celebrated Mardi Gras this week with a playlist featuring Lil Wayne, Better Than Ezra and Miley Cyrus.

» There was no shortage of Winter Olympics coverage this week, including an interview with Hannah Kearney, the first U.S. gold medal winner in Vancouver.

» Also, even if everything at the Olympics had been a total disaster, at least the Winter Olympics mascots are adorable.

» In news that doesn't involve athletes, filmmaker Kevin Smith got into an argument with Southwest Airlines over his weight, which put him in an exclusive club with Snoop Dogg, Peter Buck and Courtney Love.

» It shouldn't shock you, but it turns out producer RedOne really loves the new version of "We Are the World," which he worked on.

» The late night landscape got a new wrinkle, as rumors surfaced that Kevin Eubanks would no longer be serving as the band leader on "The Tonight Show." If that turns out to be true, Jay Leno should recruit Ben Folds or Randy Newman to take the job.

» "American Idol" revealed the Top 24 this week, but the bigger "Idol" news came when Jim Cantiello sat down with Adam Lambert, Kris Allen and Allison Iraheta for a summit before a show.

» Also on the "Idol" front, we learned that the Top 24 will all be tweeting throughout the season, which made us consider the best Twitter accounts by former "Idol" contestants. Who knew Alex Wagner-Trugman was so essential?

» In the greatest culture clash of all time, Mitt Romney got into a confrontation with LMFAO on an airplane, and hilarity ensued.

» For 12 minutes on Friday, Tiger Woods took over the airwaves to apologize to everybody he has ever met (and plenty he hasn't).

» Finally, please take a few minutes to check out Jared Leto's thoughts on the 30 Seconds to Mars video for "Kings and Queens." It's a thoughtful piece from a passionate artist, and even if you don't care for the band or the song, you have to admire Leto's passion.

"I think that Simon Cowell leaving 'American Idol' is amazing, because those are two potential jobs that I may have in the future. If they're looking for a new judge on 'American Idol,' I am available. I haven't asked Simon Fuller, who created the show, but maybe I should. I'd be a great judge! But I'd also happily be a judge along with Simon Cowell on his U.S. version of 'X Factor.' Basically, I'm shamelessly looking for work. I'm available. And I'm cheap!"

-Celebrity blogger and music mogul Perez Hilton, speaking to MTV News about the possibility of sliding behind the judges' table on "American Idol" once Simon Cowell bolts the show in favor of the American version of "X Factor." (Although clearly Hilton is not above working with Cowell on that show, either.)

During a conversation with reporters on Thursday (February 18), Cowell was asked about Hilton's potential as a judge on the show. The normally cantankerous Brit was quite complimentary of Hilton's potential. "Perez would be funny," he said. "He's got good taste in music, he's got a personality, that could work." (Cowell also had compliments for Hilton pal Lady Gaga, who he called "the most relevant pop artist in the world right now.")

The ninth season of "American Idol" has finally hit its stride, with the Top 24 selected and new judge Ellen DeGeneres settled into her role. Even though the real competition is underway, there is still no indication as to who will take over Cowell's chair when he leaves at the end of this season.

Who would you like to see as the new "American Idol" judge? Would Perez Hilton make for a good adjudicator? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Photo: Becker/FOX
Simon Cowell has one requirement for his replacement on American Idol: “My role on the show is somebody who has run a successful record label,” he told reporters during a conference call last night. “This person, specifically, has got to have a lot of experience in the music industry.”

Cowell says managers, artists and A&R representatives are solid candidates — with a caveat. When Rolling Stone mentioned producer Steve Lillywhite’s campaign for the job (his credentials? “I have spent 30 years telling Bono what to do”) Cowell asked us to assess the producer’s looks. “You’ve got to be good looking,” he explained with a laugh. As for the other big names who’ve publicly thrown their hats in for the gig, Cowell says he’s “fairly certain” no one on Idol’s end has approached Howard Stern and that the shock jock’s resume is dubious. “He plays records,” Cowell says. “But he doesn’t seem to have any of these qualifications.” On the other hand, he tells RS Perez Hilton “would be funny. He’s got good taste in music and he’s a personality. It could work.”

Cowell dispelled rumors of a feud between himself and new judge Ellen DeGeneres, saying he doesn’t know the comic that well yet but can vouch for why she’s a good judge: “She’s very responsible for people she has performing on her own show, she loves music and she’s been an artist.” And he addressed the elimination of Top 24 contestant Chris Golightly, saying he was unaware of the reason for the singer’s early disqualification.

Cowell says he has a wish list for the next few months. He’d like to see Lady Gaga, who he calls “the most relevant pop star in the world at the moment,” as a guest judge, admits he’d love to find his own Taylor Swift to win the competition (a veiled nod to self-proclaimed country starlet Haeley Vaughn?) and, of course, keep his spot as the final voice when the judges offer their criticism. “I want to go out on a high; It’s my last season, I want it to be successful and I’m going to do everything I can to make it happen.”

Related Stories:

• Meet the American Idol Top 24 – Minus Ineligible Chris Golightly
• American Idol Judge DioGuardi Rates Ellen DeGeneres’ Debut
• Ellen DeGeneres Joins American Idol as Hollywood Week Begins

Internet addicts, rejoice! The season nine "American Idol" contestants will be allowed to tweet (and update Facebook and MySpace pages) for the first time in the show's history! So far the top 24 has remained mum, but while we wait for the newbies to peep their first tweets, I thought it'd be fun to highlight my top 10 favorite "Idol" Twitter-heads from seasons past.

#HereWeGo

10. Kelly Clarkson
The original "Idol" only picked up Twitter somewhat recently, but she took to it like a champ. (Sort of.) Kelly has always made her fans feel like close personal friends and her Twitter page is no different. And when she decides to speak her mind, you'll want to be one of the first people to hear it.

9. Frenchie Davis
Long before Chris Golightly, we had the original DQ diva, Frenchie Davis. Lucky for us, Frenchie's sass levels are still through the roof, and the woman knows her way around a Twitter trend. As Frenchie would say, "Werq!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

8. Paula Abdul
Do you watch "Idol" and miss Paula's New Age-y words of wisdom? There's a very easy way to fix that problem — click the follow button.

7. Danny Gokey
Danny is the undisputed king of TMI tweeting. Belly-button lint! Laxatives! Thanks for the nightmares, Gokey!

6. Tatiana del Toro
Two words: alien abduction. Yes, season-eight semifinalist Tatiana brings her patented cray-cray each and every time she steps into the Twitterverse. From ranting about haters to sharing epic stories about near-death experiences, Tatiana's feed is just as wild and unpredictable as she was on the show. Think of her as the Courtney Love of "Idol" twitterers. Awesome.

5. David Archuleta
Like Archuleta himself, the tweets that come from the giggly season-seven alum are sure to make you smile. His hilariously simple messages read like excerpts from haiku poems and when he decides to tell a story (in 140 characters), he does so in a charming and quirky way.

4. Melinda Doolittle
Season six's humble diva with the big booming voice is refreshingly honest, delightfully self-deprecating and just plain adorable. And she's still a die-hard "Idol" fan, so you may get some live commentary on new episodes too.

3. David Cook
No surprise that the self-described "word nerd" is an A+ Twitter user. These days he's hard at work on his sophomore album, yet he'll still find a way to make his "I'm in the studio" updates playful.

2. Kris Allen
The season-eight winner has been accused of having "no personality" by lazy journalists, but any of his 150,000 Twitter followers would beg to differ. Whether he's ruminating on R. Kelly lyrics or pontificating on ad campaigns for major fast-food chains, the pint-sized Idol always seems to come up with something LOLworthy. Plus, his clever use of captions on TwitPics is unparalleled. (For an added Kris Allen Twitter experience, follow his bandmate @calevis24 too.)

1. Alex Wagner-Trugman
Alex's time on "Idol" may have been (too) brief, but this season-eight top-36er is the best-kept secret on Twitter. Follow his misadventures as he returns to being a normal college student! Keep up as he pals around with his famous friends! Bust a gut as you take in his witty observations on pop culture or posts an awesome cover of "Pants on the Ground" (before every other goofball with a guitar did). He's like your funny best friend who happens to have Diablo Cody on speed-dial. (Bonus: He replies to his followers regularly. Some people are really into that sort of thing.)

How do you think the season-nine Idols will compare to these 10? What "Idol" stars did I leave off the list? (I know, I know. But Adam Lambert's tweets used to be epic. Now? Not as much.) And are you following me on Twitter? Let me know in the comments!

Following last night’s completion of Hollywood Week on American Idol, eliminations weren’t scheduled to begin until next week’s episodes. However, just hours after the Top 24 were revealed last night on Fox, AI producers issued a statement saying curly haired contestant Chris Golightly had been deemed ineligible for Season Nine. Producers added that Tim Urban, who initially didn’t make the Top 24 cut, would replace Golightly. Watch the former contestant in the video up top.

USA Today’s Idol Chatter spoke to Golightly after news of his dismissal broke out, and the singer said a misunderstanding over a previous recording contract led to his forced exit. Golightly says his former manager informed 19 Entertainment that he was still under contract, but explained that his contract ran out a month prior to his audition for AI. After a series of mix-ups, Golightly says it was established that he was in fact free from his previous contract, but by that point Idol producers had already recruited Urban to fill the vacancy. “Since then, I’ve left them voicemails, but they’ve screened my calls,” Golightly told Idol Chatter. “They don’t even answer me. Nobody.”

As Rolling Stone previously reported, there were rumors that Michael Lynche, another Top 24 finalist, would be dismissed from the competition after members of his family reportedly broke the show’s strict confidentiality agreement by revealing he’d made it through Hollywood Week, but as of today Lynche is still a contestant.

In other Idol news, for the first time in six years, AI came in second place in viewers in its time slot, taking the silver medal to the Winter Olympics’ gold. Did Lindsey Vonn and Shaun White make you miss Hollywood Week? Familiarize yourself with American Idol’s entire Top 24 with our gallery of videos below. So far, Tyler Grady has attempted to step out as the season’s “rocker,” citing Jim Morrison, Roger Daltrey and Robert Plant — as well as the whole 1970s — as his primary inspiration.

• Tim Urban

• Aaron Kelly

• Alex Lambert

• Andrew Garcia

• Casey James

• Jermaine Sellers

• Joe Munoz